Julie Shared Advice From A Doctor

Q: Doctor, I've heard that Cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart's only good for so many beats, and that's it...  don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.  
Q: Should I cut  down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?  Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak's nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef's also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable  products.

Q: Should  I reduce my  alcohol intake?  
A: No, not at all.  Wine's made from fruit. Brandy's  distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way.Beer's also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat   ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is 1  to 1. If you have two bodies, your  ratio is 2 to 1, etc.

Q: What  are some of  the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q:  Aren't  fried  foods bad for you?  
A: YOU'RE  NOT  LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?  

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.  

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?  
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for one's figure?  
A: If swimming's good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?  
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!  

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And  remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways- Chardonnay in 1 hand - chocolate in  the other- body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO  HOO, What a Ride'  
 
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.  

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.  

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. 

Back on Track - Down 5.8

Boy, I feel like Edison with the light bulb.  I have found lots of things that don't work!  But I have lost today and I'm back on track!  Here's some of the stuff I have learned about my new lifestyle:

• My long term goal is too big.  I need short term ones - so here's the new ticker at the bottom.  I won't look at the other one unless I'm up to it.  I get something wonderful every time I reach a short term goal - the first of which is an Aveda facial with Savannah, the aesthetist.  Only 4.2 pounds away!!!
• Weighing every day is a killer.  I noticed that if I fluctuated up .4, I ate the rest of the day.  Now I'm just weighing on Monday until I am skinny and gorgeous and then I will weigh every day again.
• McIntyre's Bakery is not a good Atlanta destination for me.  It's like putting Miracle Grow on the elephant.
• Maggianno's, on the other hand, is acceptable.  We ate the family style lunch (AKA Italian gorge fest) and I survived.
• It's better to share your omelet and pancakes at IHOP than to eat them all yourself.
• The Tour of Athens (moussaka, spanikopita, Greek salad) at the Broadway Diner is enough for 3 healthy people.  Eating it all yourself, even with all the green stuff, adds tonnage.
• If I go to bed hungry, I lose weight.  If I don't, I don't.
• Don't be fooled by the Cascade Farms Sandwich Cookie (AKA Organic Oreos).  Eating the whole bag is really no better than slamming down the real thing.
• Portion control is a skill I have yet to acquire.

Like---No News

Wii Fit says I have lost 3.5 pounds.  The Phat Pharm says I have lost 2.4 pounds.  The official Tasty E scale says I have lost no more.  This may take a while!

I think I will just staple my lips together!

Tomorrow...

...is weigh and measure day.  Drum roll!

The Long Haul

I have lost and gained the same two pounds so many times I'm getting a bit weary.  

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Seems like I want to be skinny when I'm not hungry and the converse is also true.

Foods No Longer Allowed in the House

Peanut butter - - - don't ask...

Serious Lack of Cooperation From the Scales Today

Gee!  I wanted this to be easier!